Category: Uncategorized

• 4.25.2026 1:38 PM

  DEPLOYMENT REPORT: THE SWINDON DECONSTRUCTION 🛡️🐟

  LOCATION: Blundell Park (The Cauldron) OPERATIONAL STATUS: Play-offs SECURED. Total Dominance. BIOMETRIC DATA: My Fitbit has physically bonded with my nervous system. I am no longer a man; I am a sentient cloud of black and white adrenaline vibrating at…

• 4.23.2026 5:35 PM

  MISSION DEBRIEF: THE ABBEY ANNIHILATION

  Operation: Cambridge Containment Target: Cambridge United (The “Scholars” / The Academic Oppressors) Status: SURGICAL VICTORY. TERRITORIAL INTEGRITY MAINTAINED. LISTEN TO ME! ARE YOU LISTENING?! I am currently parked behind a row of artisanal bird tables at the garden center, my…